KIDNAPPED

25 Jan 2016

A little more than a decade ago I was on a business trip in a Latin American city. I was familiar with the city as I had been been coming and going for many years. This time I was spending longer periods there because I was building my business in the area.

Around 6 pm I put a long raincoat on over my suit jacket, and asked my brother to get ready. He was coming with me. We were going to a sales appointment. We took the elevator down, walked a few blocks and hailed a cab from the street.

We got in and after traveling a few blocks, I called an uncle. And, while I was on the phone talking with him, I saw from the corner of my eye a black suburban blocking the access to our cab. Then, in a matter of seconds, someone jumped inside our car and knocked us to the floor, yelling all the while.

He put my coat over my head and pointed what felt like a gun to my upper back. He said that if we didn't trying anything stupid we would be fine. I quickly realized this was a kidnapping and thought about my brother. I couldn't see him but I could feel him; he was right next to me on the floor.

The taxi driver stepped out and someone else jumped in, driving who knows where. One of them was saying "be calm, you're going to be safe if you behave". As the car drove away I thought about jumping out. The handle of the right side door wasn't too far from me and I could risk it. But I thought about my brother and I thought that I could not live with myself if I left him. I chose to stay and stay together.

About forty-five minutes later the car stopped and the guy who was pointing the gun at me stepped out to talk to someone, while the driver stayed with us. We were still on the floor. He had gone to talk to the "commander". He then came back and asked for our debit and credit cards and PIN's. He said "don't be fools and give me your PIN's or else.....give us the right numbers".

He stepped out, and the driver continued driving us for some time, until we stopped at what seemed to be a "safe house" for them, because there was no traffic noise or people around. And we waited.

The driver was still in the driver's seat and I saw an opening to try to connect with him. I risked it and asked him a question and he answered; I asked another and a conversation ensued. I asked him about why they were doing this. He said it was work; he went on to explain how, early in the evening he would tell his wife that he was going to work, and he would go to a bar where all of them met as they didn't trust everyone knowing where each lived.

From there, they would depart and follow a chain of command and hierarchy like the police or army. He said he needed to do this because he needed to work. He went on to blame the president and the bad economy. He had to work!

During this conversation I noticed my body was in a "fight/flight response" and the adrenaline was pumping, but I was not afraid. I was very alert yet I felt no fear. I knew my life and my brother's could be over very soon and I was ok with it. I didn't worry about the future. I just wanted to do everything possible to stay alive in the moment.

From where I was, my usual worry about not achieving a work goal and my fears about failing seemed so petty. Mundane concerns about clothing, food, recognition, looks, or being accepted seemed so out of reality when I was being confronted with a real life or death situation.

I realized while being there that most of my fears were really bs and superficial. If I didn't get to achieve a work project, so what! I'm not going to die from the failure. My life was not at stake if someone didn't like me. Being afraid of what other people thought of me seemed ridiculous. If a girl I wanted to date didn't want to date me, didn't seem like such a big deal.

In other words, I got to experience a different point of view as a result of really being in a life-or-death situation. Where the possibility of dying quickly or experiencing some form of torture and confinement was real. I didn't know what could happen.

I kept the conversation with our captor going. We talked about different topics. I saw this as a great opportunity to learn about his perspective and the world he lived in, and to hopefully help him humanize us. I don't know if this had any effect on their decisions, but I got to know more about him.

He believed he was entitled to steal because he had less opportunities and he justified his actions by blaming the government. He followed orders like a soldier and then he would go home, with what I think would be a cut from their bounty.

He explained to us that they would wait until midnight because there's a limit to how much you can take out from an ATM per day, and they wanted to make sure their victims would be able to make other withdrawals.

The conversation helped me to humanize him too, to learn about his world, his beliefs and how he and others made what they were doing ok. I guess blame, rationalization and lying to ourselves to justify doing the easy thing, even when it is not good, happens in all socio-economic levels.

Hours passed by and suddenly we heard a car approaching; someone got into the car and we drove away. They said they were going to drop us somewhere. I didn't know if they were lying and planning to kill us and drop our bodies somewhere, or if they would really leave us to go our own way.

Around 20 mins later they asked us to step out of the car and walk forward without looking back, or else..... We stepped out and walked forward, and during the next thirty seconds I was waiting to be shot in the back. But no, they didn't shoot us and they drove away. They left us in what seemed a very unsafe area of the city and I almost laughed, thinking, "what would be the odds of being robbed or killed after what we had been through?"

I hailed another taxi from the street (I had no phone to call a safe taxi place) and I told the guy I had no money and what we had just gone through. I told him I hoped he was not in the same line of business and I told him we would pay him once we got to our apartment. He did take us home safely and I paid him with cash I had there.

A few minutes after we entered the apartment where we were staying my mother called and asked if we were ok. She sounded very worried and I wondered why. She didn't know what had happened, I thought. But she did! I had forgotten I was on the phone with my uncle (from my father's side) when this all began.

When I dropped the phone the line didn't get cut, it stayed opened and he heard what was happening and called my parents. They had called the police and were waiting to see what would happen.

I learned it may have been worse for them than for us, it seemed to me. Parents worrying about the lives of their sons! I saw how much they care about us, and how love and our relationships are really the base for a good life. All else is not that relevant in the big scheme of things, I thought.

After hanging up I tried to process everything.

Life seemed better being at the apartment. I had the freedom to move and do as I pleased. I could do with my life what I wanted without expecting to be possibly shot. Life seemed so good just being "normal". I guess normal is not so bad.

Normal was what I had unconsciously taken for granted, and included: my health, freedom of movement and travel, and options, limited only by my capacity, to do whatever I want to do in my life.

I had been warned about this type of random express kidnappings occurring in the city, but I thought that would never happen to me! I was wrong and I was arrogant to believe somehow reality would be different just because it was me!

I am now here safely in my house, sharing my thoughts with you while sitting on a comfortable chair. I am healthy, I like what I do for a living and I am married to someone I love. I have three wonderful children and have people like you who read and try to learn from what I share. This is really great! I don't want to ever take any of this for granted!

Thank you

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Notes On LifeEdgar BooneJanuary 31, 2016Kidnapped, ViolenceComment