28 March 2015 2:33 PM

It seems to me humans are gregarious animals. I've reached this conclusion from the evidence of the high concentration of people living in cities, and how often people like to live close to each other, even if this means paying higher real estate prices. We like company, and we need each other to maintain our lifestyle.

What do I mean? Well, if we look at at the world, we see people with unique skills and abilities which he/she applies and exchanges for the value and skills of others. This way we don't all have to be doctors, engineers, entrepreneurs, farmers, psychologists, developers, etc. Each person has their unique skill or collection of skills. Because of this, we can all benefit from other's expertise. Imagine if we all had to grow our own food, be our own doctors and also be a politician, businessman and shoe maker. We can't. And this is good.

The more people specialize in something and come together with others, we form a collective whole which can do more and create more than each individual could by themselves. Yet, what we do and create in the material world is not the only benefit.

Because there are so many people and each one has differences from us, we get to learn about others and ourselves. We get to balance our weaknesses and fortify our strengths. We get to love, and experience the ups and downs of life, which come only from the complexities of relating to others.

Living alone is not as fun and as rich--not in the long term, I believe. How do I know? Well, I have spent many years alone, and I have spent many years relating to people. Finding the balance between being by myself and being with others has been an ongoing struggle for me. I often need some quiet time to heal and recharge, make sense of my experiences and settle into my soul before going out into the world again.

Yet, I have to say I am an introvert by nature and not all people are like me. There are many who seem to thrive with more company and more talking; they love expressing themselves and being in the spotlight. For them, recharging and healing could be very different than for an introvert. I find this fascinating but true. I am a social introvert which means i have the skills and sensitivity to relate to people, though always wanting to go back to center when I get lost in what I call distractions.

For me there's nothing more beautiful than being in touch with my soul, with my self. And this, at times, is more difficult in spaces where there are many stimuli. For many years I have put effort into being capable of staying present, aware and connecting to my deepest aspects while I’m with others, at a public function such as a party or event. When I succeed, I love it! I love it because I get to enjoy myself and others, while I experience different aspects of me, accessed only by the presence of another who showed me that aspect of me. It's wonderful.

Years ago, I was at an entrepreneurs' dinner in Panama. This was one of the many trips I have taken to promote my business. During the dinner, I was talking to a couple next to me who were describing their travels around the world. I listened and wondered. I have traveled a lot in my life, at times even to several countries during the same week, yet it seemed it wasn't really the places I wanted to see. I was more interested in people. I saw that what I like the most is meeting people with different ideas than mine, and getting to understand their culture, beliefs and customs. I learned I was a tourist of people, in a sense. I enjoy so much trying on what it is like to be another, and seeing the world, as much as possible, from their eyes. This has helped me to understand them, to help them, and to make new friends, business partners and other beautiful relationships.

So, I believe we, the human race, are a people who like to be around each other, learn from each other and exchange with each other. We have, through time, created groups, societies, organizations and even countries to define ourselves and be with those we find most like us. We have formed groups to benefit the individual and the whole.

In the forming of groups, we needed to develop rules of interaction, and skills of communication and persuasion. We also needed to be capable of protecting ourselves from others, while hopefully not destroying the group. Humans groups,I believe challenged us to develop morality, politics, divisions of labor and a justice system.

You see, we have benefited a lot from coming together. Let's also not forget that because a group has good intentions in coming together, not all people within the group have the same intent. Within all groups there are those who would like to control others, cheat and steal. There is also the challenge of individuals so strongly identifying with the group that they lose their sense of individual identity. This could be difficult for a healthy state of mind and heart.

Why do I say this?

Well, imagine you are a part of a group, maybe a social group, religion or even a business organization. Most likely this group would have customs, values and ways of doing things. What do you think would happen if you were very different? What would happen if you didn't behave like the group behaved, and the way the group likes? What would happen if you didn't dress like everyone? What if you didn't have their same beliefs, and you expressed that?

Some may accept and respect the differences while others would not. Those who do not may criticize you and even reject you. This may cause fears of not belonging and doubts of not being "as good" as others, of being a black sheep. You see? Being part of a group can challenge us not to lose who we are and what is true for us.

Some people become cynical and highly critical of groups when they experience or observe these negative aspects of a social life. Though I believe these negative aspects are just challenges towards getting closer rather than proof that coming together is a bad thing.

To what degree a person is social is up to them. To what degree is healthy and good is for each person to determine. I believe a union of people is better than a life of isolation and aloneness. If my own experience can serve as reference, I can say with certainty that the more alone I was, the more unhappy I was; the more friends I had with whom I could share my heart and soul, the richer my life became.

I don't know if this true for you and if you have found a group of people with whom you feel comfortable to be yourself, truly and genuinely. If you haven't, I encourage you to do so. Don't wait, life is too short to be lived separately. Life becomes richer and we can go further, the more support we have and the more support we provide.

Life is beautiful and can be enjoyed the most when we understand ourselves and our place in the whole. We are always part of a system whether we recognize it or not. Open your eyes and see what this system, this family is for you! If it is good, stay and grow in it. If it is not, expand it with those more similar to you and open your heart and mind to them, as they to you!

Be a good friend to yourself and the world!

TOGETHER