21 June 2015

Today is father's day in some parts of the world, which inspired me to reflect on what it means to be one. I thought about my childhood and my father; I thought about my father today, and how grateful I am to him for raising me and giving me the best he could.

Then I thought about the role of parenting. I have had many people in my life to whom I've been a type of mentor/father and I thought about the journeys we've traveled together: the ups and downs, the failures and successes, the laughs and the tears. I felt gratitude for the experience and for being transformed by such wonderful individuals.

Then I thought about my own children. I have three boys and I remember clearly when they were born. I remember well when I first saw them and how moved I was by their arrival in my life. I remember when I saw their first smile and when they grabbed my finger for the first time with their tiny hands.

They were totally dependent on their mother, me and others who have taken care of them. I feel so moved by these memories. Being a father has not been easy; on the contrary, it has been one of the most challenging things I have ever done, yet it is by far the one thing which has transformed my sometimes cold heart into a warmer and softer one.

Being a father may mean to protect, to provide, to care for and educate; though it also seems to me to be an act of letting ourselves "be" the children we raise and experience, growing up in tandem with them. It is also to let our hearts be torn apart and put together, again and again, by the challenging experiences we go through with our children.

I was at one time afraid of being a father, and still don't know if I am doing a good job. But it seems me that if there is love, if there is joy and some common sense, the process can be fun and the results most likely will be good.

Being a father is, of course, a responsibility, though it is also a privilege. We gain so much by giving, by doing for another, by acting from a place of love. We are constantly being challenged to become better so we can be good examples. And we are questioned endlessly about the simple, though deep, aspects of life.

Why is the sky blue? Why does fire burn? Why can't I drive while you do? Who is he/she? What is love? What is God? Why do the stars not fall like everything else? We can go on and on.

Maybe being a good father is to take care of our children, protect them and guide them without crushing their innocence, sense of wonder and joy. Being a father is the challenge of helping our loved ones learn about the real world, in time and through stages; providing the tools they will need to face a sometimes dark world.

Being a father may be to help our children build character so they can be strong, find themselves, love deeply and face honorably the difficulties of life. Oh, being a father! Being a father is a never ending process of finding ways to teach by example and by any other method available to us.

This may be at times jumping like a clown, and smiling even if we feel like crap. It is being patient even when we are upset. It is stopping all pressing, urgent things in order to grab a little hand so they can feel secure.

What does it mean to you? What do you feel and think a father is? Please share in the comments section below.

Happy fathers day to all the fathers of the world!

TO BE A FATHER