21 Sept 2014

Many of us grew up believing that love was the “butterflies” we felt as teenagers towards a person we were attracted to. Other times we may have thought we loved when dependent on someone we believed we could not live without.

In other contexts we may have learned that love was something that came from a prince or a princess believing all problems would go away once they appeared. And we may have waited and waited until we “settled" for a real person, always comparing them to an unattainable image that can not exist.

No one in this word is perfect, not our children, husbands or wives; not our girlfriends, boyfriends or siblings; not our parents or friends. To expect others to be what they’re not so we can feel loved, is to try to force them into a mold they can not fit and to try to get something from where it can not come.

Love does not demand others to be something they’re not, love appreciates others as they are. Love doesn’t cave in when facing what is hard, love does what it needs to, because it is good.

Love can be subtle or deep, but it can never be a whim or a wish.

As we grow and mature (for those who have) we learn that love is beyond butterflies, princes, princesses and chemical attraction. We learn that even though love could feel nice, love is work and can be difficult. We learn that love is not the solution to all of our problems but the best approach to deal with them.

We may know love through our actions but that’s is not what love is. Love is within, love is felt and expressed. Love is discovered as we are challenged to do what is right.

True love can defy what may seem impossible, that’s why a mother can lift a car with her bare hands because her child is under it. That’s why someone can stand by a sick loved one for years sacrificing many pleasures and opportunities. That’s why a parent may stop drinking and smoking, working harder than ever when their first child is born.

Love for many is a thing to posses, but love can not be controlled. Love can only be felt, built and expressed.

Love doesn’t come from anyone, in comes from ourselves.

Why then do we seek to get it from others? Because we are confused. In our seeking of it we have lost the opportunity to build it in us.

Why are we afraid of love, if that’s what we want?

Because we have confused ourselves to be the armor we created to not be hurt. Because we believe if we stop protecting we will stop being who we are and we are afraid to see the true but unknown nature of us.

Love is also a commercial concept used by corporations to sell dreams that can’t ever be reached. Of course it is said we can find it by buying what they sell. If we buy this idea we will end up disconnected and lonely attempting to get love from things like cars, clothing and beautiful houses that come with Mr. Charming or Mss. Perfect.

Surprisingly we may find love when we stop looking for it and in the most “unusual” of places. We may find it when we look at ourselves in the mirror with the courage to own what we see. When we give up pretending embracing all that we are. When we accept all the ugly and beautiful in others and us.

We may also discover that in helping others we find the love we seek. Like when a loved one is experiencing a very difficult situation and we stop all we’re doing to help them rise. We may discover it when we care for another while suffering an illness, even though we believed we could not. Or when someone we care about does something terrible to us and we continue loving them even if it pains us.

During these times we learn about a space within us that always existed but wasn’t revealed. We learn that love is not something to get but something to build. And we build it while sharing our lives with our friends, families and others.

Lets not be afraid of love, lets be friends with it. Lets get to know it, appreciated it and work for it. Lets surrender all defenses to it sweetness and strength. If we do so we could realize the highest of loves.

The one that is always present and around. The one we see when look at the eyes of a baby, the one that is behind all oceans and rivers, the one that is the source of the Universe and us.

With love

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE