12 Dec 2014

Imagine that you are a muslim living in a very conservative christian city. Where all schools, shops and governments are run by christians. How do you think they would look at you when you do your daily prayers? How do you think they would look at you when you share with them what you believe? How would you generally feel being muslim in a mostly christian town?

Now, imagine that you are a christian/catholic living in an all muslim city. Where all schools, shops and governments are run by muslims. How do you think they would look at you? How do you think they would perceive you, when you don’t share the same beliefs? What would this be like for you? How would you feel?

Or imagine that you are the only white person living an all black city. How would you feel? How would you feel if you were a black living an all white city? What if you were the only elder in a world of young people? The only sick in the world of the healthy?

How would you feel if were poor (with scarce resources) and you went to a school of rich children? What would that be like for you? What would it be like for you if you were the only rich child in all poor school? What if you were the only woman in an all men town? Or what if you were the only man in an all women’s city?

What if you were the only child in a world of adults? What would it be like if you were the only thin and lean person in a city where all people weighted two hundred pounds or above? What if you were the only straight person in an all gay city? Or a gay living in an all straight city?

What would it be like if you were the only crippled or deformed person living a city where all people had no physical issues or defects? How would you feel? What if you were the only “believer” in all atheist city? What if you were a very “good looking” person living in a city of ugly people? Or what if you were the only “ugly” person living in an all “good looking” city?

If you are like me, most likely you felt uncomfortable in one, several or all scenarios.

Why do you think? Why would we feel uncomfortable being the minority in a society of people not very similar to us?

Have you ever felt that you were treated “badly” because of the color of your skin, where you are from, you sexual preference, how much money you make or if you’re pretty or not? Have you ever been treated “badly” because of your religion or spiritual beliefs? Have you ever been criticized for being crippled or incapable of doing something?

Most of us can think of a time when we were treated in a not humane way, most of us can remember a time when we were treated as if we were not as valuable as others. And most likely we have done the same to others at some point.

Is this good?

I don’t think so.

Why?

Because, I believe, most people in this world want to be loved, want to be accepted and validated. Most of us want to belong, we want to be part of, we want to have friends and family with who we can relate and find similarities. We want to feel that who we are is good and good enough.

Why?

It seems to me because it is our nature. We are gregarious people, we like living in proximity of each other and we are constantly comparing ourselves with others. And most people do not have a strong sense of self, most people do not value themselves deeply, because most of us at one point or another were criticized for being who we were, we were critiqued by what clothes we wore, by how we did things or how we looked. We were punished by our parents or culture, we were compared to standards that were not necessarily good or ours.

We may have grown up believing we were not good enough, believing we had to do something to earn the acceptance of others who were “not like us”. We want/wanted to live close to the people who accepted us, who share similar circumstances, issues or culture, to feel affirmed and comfortable.

If what I’m saying here is true or accurate:

What happens when we ostracize those who are not like us?
What are we doing when we negatively critique another for their appearance, economical status or religious belief?
What are we doing when we reject those that are physically deformed or crippled?
What are we doing when we punish our children for being children, ignorant and wild?

We separate instead of uniting. We create prejudiced people and bigots. We create the soil on which all wars are grown, we create the environment on which many psychological issues reside, we create the base from which resentments are born.

What can we do? How can we improve?

I believe that if we see people different than us as opportunities to learn and discover, we could move closer to be friends. I believe if we all see our "fears of the different" as a weakness of ours and not as if there was something wrong with the other, we could all become more compassionate. And I believe, if we all saw each person’s culture, sex, race, language, religion or status as a unique condition of theirs but not who they are, we would move closer to finding our true nature and soul.

And if we are the majority lets treat the minorities as if they are like us because they are like us, we are all human. Lets remember we are the minority somewhere else in the world. Lets remember that an injustice done to one person is an injustice done to all, because once it is done to one it can be done to anyone. This is something that those in power often forget because they believe they will always be in a superior position where they can not be touched.

I am guilty of being arrogant when I have been the majority. It is easy to be insensitive to others when we are the majority. That’s why it takes extra effort to be mindful of others when we feel comfortable and strong. It takes double work to see possible injustices when we are in the position of committing them.

But if we all put the effort to treat each other as humans, if we all wanted to be close to each other, if we all wanted to rid ourselves of our fears of one another, the whole human race would become one big family. And we would never be the minority because of any condition, because we would not use any superficial standards to value a person.

We would all see each other’s uniqueness and essence, we would all see each other as us, as us in our journey to love and be loved. As us, on our path to discover and grow, on the road to learn what is just and what is not.

We will for sure make mistakes along this path, and there will be those who don’t care to unite, but it doesn’t matter because once kindness is the majority, once compassion is the norm, all other confusions and ailments would have an opportunity to be healed.

With love,

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BEING THE MINORITY